Finding Peace
by InvisiblePrincess2002
Summary: After Natalie's draining conversation with her dad about his affair, she's still in turmoil inside, and she opens up to Blair about her feelings. One-shot. Fits into cannon.


**Note to readers:** This story is based on the NBC television series _The Facts of Life_ , which as far as I know, is the property of Embassy Television, Columbia Pictures Television, and Sony Pictures Television. **No infringement is intended.**

To put it mildly, Natalie was absolutely weary. It was only eight-thirty, but she was more than ready for bed. She and the girls had helped Mrs. Garrett clear away all the dishes and straighten up the cafeteria after everyone had finished eating dinner a while ago, and after the painful and draining conversation she'd had with her father that afternoon, who'd driven all the way up to Eastland to talk to her that day, she just wanted to slip away into the forgetfulness of sleep. She wanted to forget about the fact that the afternoon before when Blair had taken her, Jo, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett out to lunch at an extremely posh restaurant, they'd all spotted her father having lunch in the same restaurant…and madly kissing another woman. She wanted to forget the fact that her whole world and _everything_ she'd always believed her family to be had been turned upside down in that single instant she'd seen them together. She wanted to forget the fact that the man who'd been her hero all her life was her hero no longer, but instead, was a traitor who had bitterly betrayed hers and her mother's trust. She wanted to forget the fact that she no longer really knew who her father was.

It was a Friday night, and because the weekend began tomorrow, Jo and Tootie were staying up late watching movies together in the lounge. Surprisingly enough, Blair actually didn't have a date that night, even though she almost always did, especially on a Friday. Jimmy, one of Blair's boyfriends who was a senior at Bates, had gone out of town to visit his family that weekend, and her other boyfriend, Alan, who was a pre-law student at Princeton, wouldn't be in Peekskill until the following weekend, so she was staying in and hanging out with the girls that night as well. She was planning on staying in the lounge and watching movies with Jo and Tootie, but then when she saw Natalie slip away upstairs, she decided to follow after her.

Blair's parents had gotten divorced several years back, and since then, both of her parents had remarried multiple times, so really, nobody understood the kind of inner-turmoil Natalie was going through inside better than she did. She knew that there would be times when Nat needed her space in order to deal with all of this, but she also knew that there would be times when she'd really need someone to talk to as well. Blair wasn't sure which one of those times this was, but more than anything, she just wanted to check on her and make sure she was okay. She knew better than anyone that her conversation with her father earlier today had to have taken a real toll on her.

After Natalie came into the girls' bedroom, she sank down into her lower bunk and buried her face in her hands. A few moments later, Blair quietly walked into the room and sat down in front of Natalie on the side of Jo's bed.

After several long silent moments, Blair finally asked, "Had you rather be alone right now, or do you think it would help to talk?"

Blair's kindness really got to Natalie's heart in that instant. Because Natalie had been in so much agony inside over seeing her father with that other woman, she had suddenly lashed out at Blair and yelled some terribly mean, unfair things at her. But even though Natalie's words, accusing Blair of being a tramp and asking how many marriages she was going to break up when she got older, had to have been incredibly painful for someone like Blair who'd lived through her parents' affairs and divorces so many times, she hadn't taken Natalie's words to heart. And now, here she was, being so kind and thoughtful. Because of her rich background and the fact that her parents had really spoiled her all her life, Blair often behaved annoying and snobbish, but there was a real depth and kindness and sensitivity to her as well. Even though she didn't always show it, everyone who knew Blair Warner well enough knew that underneath it all, she really did have a very big heart, and now she was _showing_ that big heart of hers to Natalie. Despite the fact that Natalie _really_ wanted to go to bed, she knew she _had_ to say something about the terrible things she'd said to Blair earlier that day. It was only right.

Natalie looked up then and locked her eyes with Blair's and said, "I want you to know that I'm sorry about all the mean things I said to you. I wasn't really saying them to _you_ , Blair. I was saying them to that sleazy tramp I saw my father with in the restaurant yesterday."

"I know that, Natalie," Blair said quietly.

It was quite true that Natalie's words _had_ stung Blair a very great deal. Blair did love her parents, but because of all the pain their seemingly endless cycle of affairs, divorces, and remarriages had put her through over the years, in many ways, she honestly wanted to be _nothing_ like them when she was completely grown. She loved her mother, but she did _not_ want to have constant affairs and be the homewrecker she was. And even though she had known that Natalie hadn't meant what she said about her breaking up marriages when she got older, her words had still been pretty painful to hear.

Seeing it in Blair's eyes that she was still hurting because of what Natalie had said, Nat persisted. "No Blair, seriously, I want you to know that I didn't mean a single word of what I said. I was yelling at that stupid woman, _not at you._ Blair, you're kind and caring. You may play the field a little bit while you and your boyfriends are at that stage where you're still seeing other people, but you would never do anything as hurtful as what that woman was doing with my father yesterday. You would never cheat on a guy you were in a serious relationship with, and you certainly wouldn't date or get romantically involved with a married man. That's not at all who you are. I know that."

Natalie knew she'd gotten through then because she saw Blair's famous chestnut eyes with green and gold flecks get brighter. Blair smiled and said, "Thank you for saying that, Natalie. That means a lot to me. It really does. But I didn't come up here so we can talk about me. I came up here because I wanted to see how _you_ were doing."

"I don't know, Blair. I'm just so confused right now. Even though most of me was so angry at Dad that I didn't want to look at him, a part of me was kind of hoping that after I talked to him today, I'd have some answers. I was hoping I'd be able to understand somehow how he could do something like this to my mom. I was hoping it would all somehow make sense. But he didn't give me _any_ real answers. He just gave me the lame mid-life crisis excuse. What a load of bull!"

"I agree. It _is_ just a load of bull. Maybe the real reason he's been cheating on your mom is too difficult for him to talk about right now."

"Maybe it is, but I still wish I could understand. I thought I knew my father. I thought he was a hero. I thought he was such a good person. I thought he was someone I could trust and believe in. Now, it turns out that I don't even know him."

"You know, I felt the same way when the truth about my grandfather's connection with the KKK came out. I looked up to my grandfather all my life. He was always there for me when my father and all my different stepfathers weren't. He was always somebody I could depend on. Then it turns out that he was this horrible racist and that he actually fought against civil rights. The rug was really ripped out from underneath me when I found out the whole truth about him.

"But then Mrs. Garrett helped me realize that you don't have to stop loving someone even if he deeply disappoints you. Yeah, my grandfather did a lot of terrible things. He was mean-spirited. He was a racist. But yet, in some ways at least, he was actually a loving grandfather. There were a lot of awful things about him, but he _did_ love me, and he _was_ there for me many times when Daddy and my other stepfathers weren't. And even though your father's not entirely the hero you thought he was, he _does_ love you. I know how hard this has got to be for you, but even though your father has made some huge mistakes and has let you and your mother down so badly, you don't have to stop loving him, Natalie."

"I guess you're right. But what about my mom? Mrs. Garrett said today that I had no right to make decisions about somebody else's marriage, but I really don't think that was fair. It's _not_ 'somebody else's marriage' as she put it. It's not a marriage between a couple of strangers we're talking about, here. _It's my parents' marriage._ I know what she meant, that this whole affair thing has to be dealt with privately between the two of them, and I understand what she's saying. But in a way, this whole thing _doesn't_ just affect Mom and Dad; it affects me too. It affects our entire family. And as Mom's daughter, I don't think it's right for me to just leave her in the dark about this like Mrs. Garrett wants me to. I think Mom has a right to know, _every right to know_ , what Dad is doing to her behind her back."

"You know, all throughout my parents' marriage, there were plenty of affairs, on _both_ sides. Every time Dad would start up an affair, Mom would begin to get suspicious, and the endless worrying and questions would drive her up the wall. She was never really able to have much peace and move on with her life until she knew for certain what was going on. Of course, she found her 'peace,' so to speak, by cheating on Dad in retaliation, but yet, somehow even that seemed to be better than the worrying and the questions."

"Maybe Mrs. Garrett does have a point," Natalie said with a long sigh. "Maybe telling Mom about the affair would be opening a can of worms that doesn't need to be opened. I certainly don't want to see Mom cheating on Dad just to get back at him."

"I really don't believe Mrs. Green is that type of person. I do love my parents, but with them, it's almost like having multiple affairs and broken marriages and remarriages is kind of a lifestyle for them. It's just what they do. Perhaps it's the only way they know how to live for some reason. But your parents have been devoted to each other for years. Obviously, there are problems between them that need to be worked out, but I honestly don't believe your mom and dad are anything like my parents. I think that deep down, they're a lot more devoted to each other and to you than my parents ever were to each other." _And to me_ , Blair almost said, but then she decided not to finish her thought.

"When it comes to the whole issue of whether or not you should tell your mom about the affair, that's really something that's very personal and private," Blair continued. "I do love Mrs. Garrett, but I think that she was actually wrong to tell you not to tell your mom. With all due respect to Mrs. Garrett, I really don't think that it's any of her business if you decide to tell her or not. That's between you, your parents, and your own conscience. This may be a marital issue, but in a lot of ways, it's just as much a _family_ issue as it is a marital one. In a lot of ways, this concerns _you_ just as much as it does your parents. And personally, I think you made a good point a moment ago. I don't think it's entirely fair for your mother to be left in the dark about this. Just don't tell your mom about the affair out of spite, simply to get back at your dad. If you're going to tell your mom about the affair, do it because you feel certain that it's the right thing to do, and for no other reason."

"Wow, Blair. You almost sounded like Mrs. Garrett there for a minute," Nat said with a smile, and Blair returned the smile.

"I guess I did," Blair said with a chuckle. "Well anyway, I'll let you have some privacy now," Blair told her then as she got up from Jo's bed.

"Thanks for coming up to talk to me, Blair. I've been in such turmoil inside all day long. I'm _still_ in turmoil, but after our talk, I'm beginning to feel a little more at peace inside."

Blair smiled again and assured her, "You'll find your peace again, Natalie. It'll take some time, but you'll find it. Now get some rest. You've had a tough day."

Natalie nodded and said, "Goodnight, Blair."

"Goodnight, Natalie," Blair responded, and then she turned and walked out the door.


End file.
